Batman, Where Are You?
by Linkz1
Summary: Nightwing has been captured by the Joker.  He is severely injured, he can barely walk let alone fight.  Where is Batman?  Rated T for violence.  Please leave your comments!


Dick's vision was hazy, how long had he been out? He tried to focus his eyes, tried to move and quickly realized he was strapped down. There was little light in the room as he struggled to turn his head to take in his surroundings. It wasn't long before he felt a sharp pain in side. He tried to move his right arm but it was pinned down. Where am I? He thought, breathing hurt, he knew he had a cracked rib, among other injuries.

A door slammed shut and suddenly blinding lights turned on. His already hazy vision overwhelmed by sudden contrast from dark to light. Footsteps marched closer and closer. The steps were erratic, he obviously wasn't in some military facility, or if he was, the guard was probably drunk, maybe I can make good an escape right now. His began to get readjusted to the light as he gazed down at his body. He realized he was still dressed as Nightwing, breathing a sigh of relief he thought to himself, this will make escape a bit easier.

A gloved hand grabbed onto his hair and pulled his head back, nearly snapping his neck. Suddenly he heard laughter, a laugh he knew all too well: Joker. Joker's clownish face stared down at him laughing. He could smell his breath, does he ever brush his teeth, Dick tried to make some light of situation there he knew there was little he could do at the moment. Joker slapped him, still laughing maniacally.

"Look at what we have here!" Joker sneered, now walking around Nightwing.

"Jo-Joker..." was all he could stammer out, his throat was sore, probably from inhaling too much smoke in the explosion.

Joker laughed again, pulling the gurney that he strapped onto into a standing up position, "Let me help you up!"

Nightwing struggled against the bonds again, still unable to free himself. He gritted his teeth, the weight on his legs hurt, and he knew something had happened to one of them. He grunted and spat out, "What the hell is going Joker? What's the idea?"

"Oh come on now. The game has only just begun! I'm not about to spoil all of the surprises I have in store for you," he started laughing uncontrollably.

"Stop it!"

Poking Nightwing in his ribs, Joker replied, "Or what? You'll be me up? I don't think you could with a broken arm, cracked ribs and one broken leg."

Joker began poking Nightwing's right leg. Pain seared through him as he felt the bones grate against each other. What am I going to do with a useless leg and arm, I can hardly breathe as it is! He struggled again, only to feel more pain as his leg started to get twisted, "God damn you Joker!"

"I think He already has my boy. Come now, we can't have you speaking like that," Joker strode across the large room, and grabbed one Nightwing's batons activating it with a snap and a hiss. "Little boys shouldn't use such bad language. It think it's time to teach you a lesson!"

Nightwing winced as Joker jabbed him with the electrified end of his own baton. The electricity snapped and crackled as it shot through his body, making him convulse uncontrollably. His breathing quickened as the pain started to become unbearable. He fought against blacking out. I can't do it, if I black out, I'm as good as dead, he thought. Another zap of electricity filled his body, he could smell the flesh of his body burning. Joker continued to prod him in his leg. The electricity made him feel lightheaded now. He knew it wasn't lethal, it was his own weapon after all, but the pain was still intense. How am I going to signal Bruce? How am I going to get out of this?

Joker laughed as he continued toying with Nightwing's baton, "What a wonderful toy! You take after the Dork Knight himself."

He glared at the Joker, hatred in eyes, "You'd be surprised how different I can be from him!"

Joker reared back and slammed the baton across Nightwing's face, nearly dislocating his jaw. He sighed and started laughing again, "You'd be surprised how different I am when he's not around."

"You're psychotic."

"Oh?" Joker gasped, faking shock, "I never knew! Oh please, can you help save me from myself!" He could barely finish his words as he began laughing again, holding his sides.

"For a man called The Joker, you really have some bad jokes."

Joker twirled around and slammed the baton across Nightwing's face again, blood began trickling out of his mouth as he spit out a tooth, "No one insults my jokes but me! Keep this macho facade up boy and you'll be dead long before anyone knows you're here."

Nightwing winced as the pain started to become unbearable, the broken bones, the breathing, now his jaw. He wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with this kind of abuse. "Batman will come."

Again, the clown began laughing, "And I thought I was the only who told the jokes around here! Batman isn't around. He's busy fighting Harley and Ivy, and from what I've heard..." His voiced trailed off as he activated a button on the cuff of his suit, "Harley?"

"Yeah, Puddin'?" 

"How's it going over there? Are you girls taking care of business?"

Joker winked as Harley replied, "We sure did! Batman is as good as dead now!"

"Good work ladies, now get your sweet ass back home Harley, he have some celebrating to do!"

He grinned at Nightwing, showing his yellow, his white skin cracked as he grinned wider and wider. "You bastard! I'll kill you when I get out of this!"

Nightwing was becoming more and more enraged. It couldn't be true, there's no way they could have Batman near death. No way at all. This had to be some kind of trick to get him to do something stupid and out of character. It just had to be...but, what if Batman really was hurt, what if he was in trouble...what if he was dead? He shook his throbbing head, there's no way he's dead. When you get out of this, you'll see as you usually do. He'll be sitting in his living room reading a book with Alfred fetching him some tea.

"Kill?" Joker said defiantly, "I don't think you even know the meaning of the word! Hell, let's make a deal!"

"I'm not interested in making a deal with a madman."

Joker cackled with delight, "I don't think you're in much position to make such a statement. Here's the deal: I'll free you from your bonds and give you a gun. It'll be your job to find me and kill me. You kill me and you can go free. You don't kill me, well...there's no telling what I may do is there?" Laughing again, he unstrapped Nightwing from the gurney.

As his full weight shifted onto his legs, Nightwing tumbled over and groaned in pain. First things first, I'll need to make a splint, he thought. The Joker continued laughing and pointing at his prone enemy on the floor, he tossed a small handgun on the ground and strode out of the room slamming the door shut behind him. Nightwing was alone again, alone with his thoughts and his pain. He needed to figure out a way to get to Batman, to least communicate with him. See if he was alright. He glanced around the room to see if there was anything he could use as a splint. He spotted some rope. Ok, now I need something rigid, he thought as he dragged himself across the floor to the rope. He squinted as he looked around again, all he could find were some stray pieces of fabric. Well, if I layer this enough it could be just enough. He struggled to splint his right leg up. The pain was unbearable as he cinched the rope up, tightening the pressure on his leg.

"You can do it Grayson," he said to himself, "You can't walk without this." He knew he was only trying to psyche himself up. It'd be nearly impossible to do much more than hobble with a broken leg, let alone walk. He pushed himself up as he tenderly put weight on his leg. There was more pain, that was expected, but the leg at least didn't totally collapse under his weight this time. That means the break isn't too bad, he thought, a very small amount of comfort in that thought.

He wished he had something to kill his pain. The shooting pains in his leg and arm were enough to nearly black him out. His mouth throbbed where the tooth had been. He rubbed his jaw tenderly with his good hand, he realized if Joker had given him another shot with the baton his jaw would have been dislocated. No use thing about what ifs though.

Instinctively he reach down to his belt to grab his communicator, pulling it up he activated it, "Batman. Batman are you there?"

There was static and silence.

Again, he called out in desperation, "Batman! Batman, this is Nightwing! Repeat, this is Nightwing! Are you there?"

Static and silence.

"Shit!" He cried in despair. Could Joker have been telling the truth the whole time? Was Batman really dead? I have no choice it seems, he thought, I have to find Joker. Otherwise, I'm as good as dead too.

He hobbled across the room to where Joker dropped the gun. Stretching his hand out to pick it up he paused for a moment to think about what he was doing. You can't kill him, it goes against everything you've ever fought against. Everything you've ever fought for! He sighed and bit his lip, trying to rationalize his thoughts. It didn't matter now. The man whom he loved like a brother was now gone. He was as good as alone. No one was going to come for him here. He had no choice, he knew it was either him or Joker. If there's one person I need to kill, I'd prefer it was him anyway, he thought.

His feet dragged as he picked up the weapon and made his way out the door of the room. The corridor he came out into was long and dark. Small dimly lit lamps were overhead, barely making a difference in the darkness. "Why is it," he said, "that Joker always has to end up in a place like this?" He decided to go left.

As good a choice as any, he thought. There wasn't much else to do be continue onward. He had to be wary though, he knew Joker could have set up traps or could even be hiding in the darkness himself. The irony of Joker using darkness against him made laugh out of nervousness, he and Batman had always stalked criminals from the shadows. He was now the criminal and Joker was the hero, at least in this twisted little game that he was involved in.

He had only managed about one hundred yards down the corridor before he needed to rest. The pain from his broken leg was getting worse and worse. I need something to kill the pain, he thought frantically, I'll end up blacking out soon without it. "Where would Joker hide a painkiller?"

A laugh echoed through the long corridor, causing him to grip his weapon tightly. There was no way of knowing where the Joker was, or what he was planning on doing next. He heard something rattling, like a baby's toy, moving as quickly as he could, he ducked down as a small bottle of pills was hurtled at him. The lights in the corridor suddenly brightened. Nightwing struggled to regain his focus, everything was a blur. He spotted purple in the distance and fired his gun.

More laughter, he heard the Joker call out, "Not yet, not yet! I've given you some help so you can at least make to the fun!"

He gazed down at the small bottle of pills that had been lobbed at him. Scribbled in crayon were the words PAIN KILLERZ. He opened the bottle, half expecting something to shoot out at him, but there were only pills inside. This just seems too convenient, he thought. "How do I know I can trust these?" He called out.

"Do you have much of a choice?" The Joker giggled.

Nightwing shrugged, I guess I don't. This may be the only way to kill the pain. Besides, if Joker wanted me dead, I would've been dead already. "Ok," he called out, "I'll take the help. But don't think I'll take this small bit of mercy into consideration when I kill you."

"I'll believe it when I see it. You still don't have it in you to kill. So don't fool yourself into thinking you do!"

The lights dimmed back down as he swallowed down a couple of the capsules. He could feel the pain subside at least a small bit as he sighed. Am I really going to have to kill him? I can't do it, I just can't! He lifted his communicator and called out again, "Batman! Batman are you there?"

He sat, anxious for any reply outside of static. After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the faint voice of Batman, "I'm here. What's going on?"

The voice sounded far away, like the signal was weak or could break at any minute. Nightwing responded back, "Batman! It's great to hear you! I'm in trouble!"

"What?"

"I said I'm in trouble. The Joker has captured me, I've got a broken leg, arm and cracked ribs. I'm trying to figure out a way to escape, but it seems the only way out is through Joker."

There was another brief moment of static, then Batman's voice returned, a bit louder than earlier, "Where are you?"

"I don't know," he looked around the darkened corridor, "I really don't know. I think it's some old mental hospital, there's a lot of old gurneys and padded rooms."

"Where's Joker now?"

Nightwing sighed, he wish he knew, he wish he didn't have to find out, "I don't know. He was here, but there's no telling where he's gone off to."

Some static, then Batman came back on, "Whatever you do, don't fall for his trap."

Trap? There was a trap, maybe Batman had an idea what was going on, "What do you mean?"

"Harley and Ivy said a bit too much in front of me."

Nightwing then remembered what he had heard about Batman being near death, "Batman, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, nothing more than a couple scratches. It takes more than a blow to the head to kill a bat."

Nightwing smiled for the first time that night. He was so relieved that Batman was more than ok, he still had his wry sense of humor. Things were definitely going to get better. He just needed to make sure that he lasted that long. "Batman, where are you now?"

There was another long pause, maybe Batman was somewhere far away, somewhere he wasn't familiar with, "I'm at the Gotham City Docks. They locked me in a warehouse down here after they knocked me out. Shouldn't take too long to get out of here."

"That's good to hear. Do you still have your GPS tracker?"

Batman confirmed, "I do, is yours still in order?"

Nightwing felt the spot on his belt where the tracker was. He fingered the device and heard its distinct beep as he activated it. "It sure is, I've activated it. That should help you find me. Where ever I am."

"Based on what you told me, I'm guessing you're on the outskirts of Gotham, near the old psychiatric hospital they had before Arkham Asylum."

Nightwing shivered. He had heard too many stories about this building, stories about what happened to some of the inmates and stories that were more supernatural. He peered around the hallway, perhaps he'd have been better off not knowing where he was at the moment. "The stories aren't true right?"

"What?"

"I said, the stories aren't true right?"

Batman chuckled, "What stories?"

"The ghost stories!"

"Nightwing," Batman said amused, "you know as well as I do that there's no such thing as ghosts!"

Nightwing was growing more anxious, he had the Joker running around stalking him, and now he finds out he might be in a haunted psychiatric hospital, "I know, but, well, I've heard too many strange things about this place."

"Listen," Batman tried to be as comforting as possible, "you're going to be fine. I'd be more worried about the Joker if I were you than about ghosts. Now I need to get out of this place so I can get over there and help. I'll radio you if anything happens. And whatever you do, keep your tracker on."

"Got it." Nightwing pushed himself back up, ready to continue on his journey to where ever the Joker may be hiding. "And Batman."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"I'd do anything for my family, you know that."

There was a his of static as the communicator went dead. Nightwing knew he was now on his own. This was not going to be easy. But at least his mind was eased at knowing that Batman was alive and well. Even better, Batman was going to be here soon. He just needed to keep himself alive long for Batman to find him. He started hobbling in the direction he had seen the Joker run off to. Keeping his guard up as he continued forward. He looked over his shoulder back down the hallway. Was that a...he shook his head. No, don't start getting frightened by your own shadow, Dick, he thought to himself. After a few minutes he reached the end of the hallway to find a stair case leading down.

He drew in a breath, "This should be fun."

Gingerly he lowered himself down onto the stairs. Pain shot through his bad leg. At least it's not as intense as it was, he thought, those pills are working. He struggled his way down the stairs, he had gone only a few steps before tumbling the rest of the way. Crumpled on the ground in a heap, he pushed himself up with his good arm. He could feel something scraping inside. He just broke his ribs. "Shit," he said aloud. He started to take more shallow breaths as the pain seared through his lungs. Last thing I need is to pierce my lungs with a broken rib, he thought. After regaining his balance he continued onward. This new hallway was more open and brighter. This must have been the common area for the patients who were here.

There was a loud crash to his left in one of the rooms. Startled, he looked in that direction to see what had happened. He stood absolutely still for a moment, holding his breathe, listening intently. Nothing. A loud crash behind him caused him to jump, he turned himself around to regard what caused the crash. Again, there was nothing. He then heard what sounded like wheels rolling across the floor he was on. Was that a gurney?

Something hit him in the side causing him to fall over. Then there was laughter. Joker was here. "Congratulations! You've found me!"

The lights grew brighter as the whole room lit up, the walls were painted in a grotesque manner. There was a base coat of white with a splattering of green and red paint all over it. Words were spelled out in spots and in others were disturbing visages of The Joker himself. Nightwing still couldn't see him, though he could tell that the hallway opened up to a large common room in the middle of the hall. Music started blaring through the hospital's loud speakers. Strange demented sounding circus music. This was quickly turning into a nightmare.

"Come on now boy! Where are you! I can't wait for you to see what I have in store for you!"

Nightwing trudge forward, towards the common area. The tiles on the floor were stained with blood, he shivered, I don't think I want to know what happened in here, he thought. His legs were barely able to keep him going, his heart raced. I don't think I'm ready for this. Not yet.

The Joker was growing inpatient, "I'm waiting! If you don't get here this instant, I'll kill this dog!"

Nightwing heard a loud whimper of a dog. Come on, you need to hurry, he thought. Pushing himself as fast as he could go, he covered the rest of the ground between him and The Joker. He stumbled over as he came to a stop in the common room. There was a large stage that had been hastily erected from scraps of wood, the Joker stood on it, by himself, holding an MP3 player.

He looked at it dramatically and fingered the play button, the sound of a whimpering dog was heard, "Don't you just love these things?"

Nightwing glared at him, another god damn trick! "Not as much as I'd love hearing you whimper!"

"Batman wouldn't appreciate you saying that," he wiggled his finger at Nightwing in a accusing way, "that isn't how he trained you to be is it?"

"Don't underestimate me," Nightwing warned, he could feel the hatred building up inside him again.

Joker hopped off the stage and walked over to Nightwing, gripping him under the armpit, he lifted him up, "I'm not underestimating you. I know what you're capable of. And you know what? I'm counting on it!"

Joker let go of Nightwing as he walked back towards the stage humming to himself. What is he doing, he thought. "I am going to kill you, Joker."

Nightwing lifted his hand, holding the gun, he leveled it at The Joker. Joker turned around and jumped back, starting to whimper, "Look. I was only kidding around! I didn't mean to hurt you kid! I really didn't! I'm just a guy who gets bored easily. I don't want people to get hurt! I really don't! You don't have to do this!"

As Joker rattled off excuse after excuse, Harley Quinn walked quietly behind Nightwing. Brandishing her oversized mallet, she swung hard at his broken leg, shattering what was left. Nightwing cried out in intense pain, dropping the gun and landing hard on the floor. Tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn't believe he had forgotten that Harley might be around. The pain was burning his leg, how was he ever going to walk again. How the hell am I going to get out this?

Harley laughed, and screeched out, "Oh look at that Puddin', I think he's hurt!"

Joker nodded, as they both circled around Nightwing like a couple of wolves stalking their prey. Joker grinned widely and started laughing, "Looks like he's not doing too well, does he?"

Harley shook her head playfully, "Not at all. Maybe we should test his other leg?"

"Of course!"

Harley drew up her mallet in the air, and said, "I just want you to know, this hurts me a lot more than it's going to kill you!"

With all of her might she swung down onto Nightwing's left leg. He was almost ready to black out from the pain. He could feel the bones crack as the mallet was slammed down on the leg again. "God dammit!" He said, there was nothing else he could do other than curse.

"What did I tell you about talking like that, boy?" Joker said with contempt. He motioned to Harley, "just for that, you are going to have to endure something even more painful."

Harley handed Joker the gun that had fallen from Nightwing's grip. He loaded the chamber and leveled the weapon at him. He looked at Nightwing with a sneer on his face. Nightwing winced and managed to say, "So that's it? You're-you're going to kill me then?"

Joker shook his head, "No, I'm just going to shoot your arm."

BANG! The shot rang out, echoing throughout the cavernous room. Nightwing screamed in pain. The shot went straight through the arm he had broken, shattering more bits of bone as it came out the other side. He could barely breathe with the extreme pain he was experiencing, with no idea how much longer until Batman arrived, he cried out, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Gee, Mr. J, maybe we should bring him to a doctor? He doesn't look too good," Harley cooed, prodded him playfully.

"You're right, but first," Joker level the gun at Nightwing's head. "We need to give him a better reason to be in the morgue!"

Before Joker could pull the trigger his hand was struck by a Batarang. Dropping the gun to floor and crying out in pain, he grabbed his hand looked frantically around to find where Batman was. "I know you're here, Dark Knight, there's no use hiding!"

"Alright." Batman said plainly as he dropped from the ceiling above. It was poetry in motion as he began landing fists and kicks to both Harley Quinn and Joker. Joker went flying into the stage, and caused it to tumble. Harley was no match for Batman's speed and strength. She grabbed her mallet and tried to take him out with a mighty swing. Batman raised up a gauntlet and deflected the blow, using her momentum against her, he tossed her through one of the weak walls of the hospital. She cried out as chunks of drywall fell on top of her. Joker tried his luck again, this time trying a sucker punch that Batman easily countered with a punishing right hook to the jaw. He picked Joker up by the scruff of the neck, handling him like a mad dog, tossing him through the glass double doors of the hospital entrance. Batman stepped over the broken shards of glass, it crunched under his boots like snow. Again he picked Joker up and tossed him back inside the hospital. Joker stumbled, doubling over in pain as Batman continued to deliver justice.

"Bats," Joker cried, trying to catch his breath in between getting punched, "can't wait just talk about this?"

"You've already talked too much tonight."

"I thought you might say that," Joker reached into his coat to pull out Nightwing's baton. Seeing this, Nightwing tried to call out, but was in too much pain to react. Joker jabbed the blunt end of it into Batman's stomach. Batman backed off, holding his midsection, and did his best to recover from the blow. Joker activated the baton and it hummed to life with a snap and a hiss. "You really do get all the best toys. You know you really ought to share!"

He reared back to swing at Batman. Batman ducked out of the way just in time, grabbing Joker's arm, twisting it behind his back, and using the baton to stun him into submission. Joker lay on the ground writhing in pain from the shocks, giggling. Batman picked him up once more and punched him with a hard right hand straight to his head, knocking him out. Harley was still in a heap buried underneath drywall that fallen away. He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to regard Nightwing.

"Nightwing, oh my god, what happened to you?"

He fell to his knees next to him as Nightwing tried to speak, "Joker, he-he tried to-tried to make me-" 

And with that, Nightwing passed out, no longer able to fight against the pain. Batman checked for a pulse, still alive. Good, now we need to get you home. He fingered his communicator, "Alfred."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm at the old Gotham City Psychiatric Hospital. Nightwing is with me. We need some transportation."

"Very well sir, shall I contact Commissioner Gordon?"

Batman looked at the bodies of Joker and Harley, "No, I'll take care of that myself."

"Excellent, sir. I will make haste."

Alfred clicked off and Batman immediately made a call to Commissioner Gordon. Gordon was reluctant to accept a personal communicator from Batman, he had to convince him that it was in both their best interests to have direct contact with one another. Especially with situations like this. "Jim, it's Batman. Jim, do you read me?"

There was a bit of static, and a groggy sounding Jim Gordon responded, "Yes, this is Commissioner Gordon, what is it Batman?"

"Send your men here right away. I've got the Joker and Harley Quinn subdued. They seem about ready for another hospitable stay at Arkham Asylum."

"I'll be there soon."

Batman smiled, "See you soon, Jim."

He held Nightwing close to him, surveying the damage that had been done. It's going to be ok Dick, you're going to be ok.

**THE NEXT DAY, WAYNE MANOR**

Dick sat in the living room of Wayne Manor sipping some tea. He couldn't believe what had happened the night before, everything he had gone through and all the pain he had felt. It had only been about twelve hours since he passed out in the psychiatric hospital, but from what Bruce told him, he missed one helluva fight between him and the Joker. Luckily for him, none of his wounds were beyond the capability of Alfred to mend. His arm was firmly set back, and now had a cast on it. Alfred told him it'd take about six weeks before he could take it off. His leg on the other hand, that was going to take more time to fix. He was wheelchair ridden for at least the next eight weeks, and after that he was going to need physical therapy. At least he could talk to Barbara, she would know what he could expect. Not to mention, she is really fun to be around, he smiled.

Bruce came into the living room and patted him on the shoulder. It was a trying night to be sure, for the both of them. What had started out as a routine patrol turned into a night neither one would soon forget. Bruce sat down and turned the television on. The familiar blare of GNN's intro came out of the speakers. He stared off into space, thinking about the night before. Dick had come to Gotham for a visit, and Bruce had invited him along for patrol, he cursed himself for doing that. Looking over at his friend, he thanked God in Heaven that he was safe.

"What a night, eh Bruce?"

He nodded solemnly, "Yeah. For both us, but you especially."

Dick nodded as well, taking a sip of tea. His mouth was still sore from where his tooth had fallen out. Another bit of handy work was going to be needed for that. Too bad Alfred isn't skilled at dentistry too, he thought. "I don't think patrol could get any more eventful than that."

"Definitely not," Bruce called to Alfred, "you said you were going to need physical therapy for you leg?"

"Yeah," Dick grimaced, just thought was enough to sour his mood, "between the multiple breaks and the gunshot wound, I guess there was a lot of damage done to it. Not to mention I can't walk on it for nearly two months."

"How are you going to pass your time without being able to go out as Nightwing?"

Dick grinned, Bruce knew that look. He had seen it ever since Dick was twelve years old, the grin of not being able to keep a secret, the same grin he got when he talked about girls he liked, "Barbara? You're going to spend more time with her?"

"Why not?"

"I didn't say anything! She's a very good girl, and besides, seeing as how she's been through something similar, she could give you pointers on how to get through your physical therapy."

Dick's face grew red, "She definitely can."

Bruce noticed and teased him, "Behave yourself with her! She is the commissioner's daughter!"

"As if you're one to talk! You've seen Selina Kyle for how long? Then Talia. Then back to Selina..."

"Ok, ok," Bruce raised a hand up in surrender. "I guess I shouldn't give you a hard time about Barbara."

Alfred came into the room, "Master Bruce, your tea sir." He placed the tray of tea on the coffee table between Bruce and Dick. "And Master Dick."

"Yes Alfred?"

"Barbara Gordon telephoned, she was very concerned about what happened and would like to come over. I told her that should could by now."

Bruce gave Dick a knowing look. He grinned and said to Alfred, "That's great, thanks Alfred."

"And might I add sir, she's a beautiful young woman. I daresay you too should spend some time alone."

"Alfred!" Bruce said incredulously, "Why don't you just tell them to use my bed while their at it?"

Dick's face was now as red as a tomato, he couldn't believe they were talking about his sex life like that. Alfred laughed, "I didn't mean it that way sir. They should spent some time alone to talk about their experiences. Something tells me it'd be a very personal subject, and maybe we ought to let them have it privately."

Dick glanced around nervously, Bruce knew what he was thinking and gave him a wink, "Don't worry, Alfred, we'll behave ourselves."

Bruce winked at Dick, "I know you guys will."

Dick couldn't help but laugh. He may not be able to walk or write or do much else, but at least he has his family with him. Bruce changed the channel on the television to one of the movie channels. Dick looked at the image filling the screen. Looks like a hospital. Looks like psychiatric hospital. "Bruce?"

"What?"

"What is this?"

"Oh, it's a ghost movie, I thought you might like it, _The Lunatics In the Night_ is what it's called."

Dick's face grew pale, "I don't think I could handle that."

"Ok, ok." Bruce changed the channel.

Alfred turned on his heels and said, "I will return when Miss Gordon has arrived."

"Thanks again, Alfred," Dick called back.

"Now what's this?" Bruce said watching the images flicker on the screen.

Dick's eyes widened, how did he have his own movie? He couldn't believe what he saw, "Superman must be really popular."

"But who's this guy playing him? Looks nothing like him!"

Dick scratched his head, "I don't know, but if they ever make a movie about you, we better hope they don't ruin our image like this."

"It has a good theme song at least."

"It does."

Bruce thought for a moment, scratching his chin, "What would my theme song be like? Would be something epic like his?"

Dick said the first thing that popped into his head, "Na na na na na na na na na, BATMAN!"

Bruce looked at Dick, wide eyed. What the hell was that? He smiled and burst out into laughter, Dick laughed too. "Sometimes you're just too much!"

"Someone has to bring back to Earth sometimes, Bruce."

Bruce got up from his chair, smiling broadly and hugged Dick. "I'm so glad you're safe. Now come on, let's watch the rest of this silly movie about our friend from Metropolis!"

"Sounds like a plan."

**THE END**


End file.
